Useful bits and interesting bobs, No. 7
Following on from last week's piece about The Pygmalion Effect, here's a worksheet you might find useful next time you're trying to build a vision for positive change*...
Before I start, a slice of self-indulgence. Last week I had a very bad stomach bug (I’m not exaggerating when I say it was probably the worst stomach bug that anyone has ever had). Which made it all the more wonderful to receive positive messages from some of you about this blog. When I first started this thing in January my genuine target was to get to 25 followers and not completely embarrass myself. I’ll let you decide on the second of those things, but I’ve now long surpassed the first aim and am quietly ecstatic about the reception it’s getting. So thank you to all of you that have subscribed to the blog and been reading it. An even bigger thank you to anyone who’s shared it or recommended it to others. And the biggest thank you to all of the people that have been in touch. The bad news is that I’m taking all of this affirmation as encouragement, so next time you’re wading through 2000 words of my poorly thought out nonsense you’ve only got yourselves to blame…
Anyways, back to business. Last week I talked about the potential value - and risks of - The Pygmalion Effect (read that here). After publishing that piece I remembered an old worksheet from my counselling days that sort of provides a tool for fostering positive expectations for change, which people might find useful.
It’s based on the concept of Virtuous Cycles, which are the opposite of Vicious Cycles. In virtuous cycles one good thing feeds another, and once you get good things going then they can just spiral upwards. I think it’s a more workable model for change than the most often used metaphor for progress: the steps of a ladder, or next steps on a journey one. In my experience, in real life when we’re dealing with complicated problems, there is rarely a methodical trajectory towards an imagined end point. Things are either just getting worser or things are getting betterer.
So here’s the worksheet. The first one is a Virtuous Flower. The second is exactly the same but with cogs instead of flowers (because I realise that there are people who might be put off by flowers). [As I’ve mentioned before, I can only post PDF’s here, but if you want an editable version do get in touch].
How does it work then?
Firstly, in the top box you just outline the change that the person wants to see, and what it would look like if it happened. For example “I would feel like a good Mum, my children would be happy and we’d all get along more in our family”.
And then in each of the petals, you just put any of the littler things that might help you to get to that place. For example “Improved sleep routines”, “Less shouting”, “More fun days out” and “Feeling less guilty”.
You can fill one of these out with a child, parent, carer or even colleague. And hopefully through this exercise you can start to see how even challenges that might seem very big and very complicated could be turned around. Get the Pygmalion Effect going basically: look for potential improvements, focus on positives and hopefully build a sense of optimism and momentum.
That’s it. I’ll be back next time with a proper blog piece, until then take care and stay safe(guarding)…
* All people are different. Something that might be suitable for some, might not be suitable for others. Other people might not rate this resource, and some people might not benefit from it. Use your judgement, you know what you’re doing.