Useful bits and interesting bobs, No. 1
Every other week we highlight something that may be useful or interesting for DSL's. This week it's the book 'Worst. Holiday. Ever' by Charlie Higson...
Every DSL I speak to says that one of the biggest challenges they are currently facing is a sweeping tide of anxiety, that seems to effect ever more of the pupils that they work with. One day I might take a closer look at what is happening there, but for now, here’s a book that might just make a difference for some of those children who are suffering with feelings of worry and anxiety on a daily basis…
The first thing to say is that on it’s own merit, this is a great book. It’s funny and easy to read. I read it to my two oldest children (one of whom has been known to get a bit anxious from time to time), when we went on our Summer holiday last year and it ticked all of my boxes. I’m no literacy expert, but I’d say it would suit 8 years and up, and could be read independently or together with an adult.
The story follows Stan. He’s a fairly ‘normal kid’, but one that worries a lot, particularly about social situations. He finds himself going on holiday with his ‘fifth best friend’ Felix and Felix’s extended family, and sure enough this involves lots of social situations. But over the course of the holiday - and through a series of minor escapades - Stan will learn to overcome his worries, and will end up with a new found confidence that means he can start to really embrace life and the expanding horizons that come with growing up.
It is a story, not a self-help book. It doesn’t have explicit suggestions about how to overcome worries. Stan doesn’t read a book about Mindfulness techniques or do an online CBT course. But what it does do well is deliver a few important messages to the reader. Things that you would doubtless say to a kid - but can sound like empty platitudes - are given resonance by a story that is entertaining and relatable. You could recommend it to a child who is worrying about things a lot. Or if you’re confronted with a parent who is anxious about their son or daughter’s anxiety, you could do a lot worse than recommend that they read this book together.
What are the key messages that you get from the book then?
Perhaps most importantly it reinforces the idea that whilst worrying is perfectly normal, it is possible for people to change and become someone that worries less. It strikes this balance really well, and will be heart warming for anyone who feels stuck in a state of anxiety.
It provides a good portrait of a virtuous circle in which new experiences increase Stan’s confidence, which makes him take on more new experiences, which in turn increase his confidence more, and so on. In that sense it fleshes out the old adage that ultimately - in one way or another - the only way to overcome worry is to do some of the things that you worry about.
It gently pokes fun at the illogical way that anxiety often operates. Done carefully - and not dismissively - I think this is a healthy approach for us all to have to the things we worry about. And when Stan finds out that his Dad is in hospital, we’re reminded that life really will throw you things that warrant your worrying. It’s the anxiety about things that you don’t really need to worry about that isn’t worth carrying around with you.
And potentially one of it’s most valuable takeaways is for parents and carers. Stan has two loving parents, but a decent chunk of the book highlights the ways in which well meaning adults can reinforce their child’s anxiety. That can be a hard thing to say to someone, and a hard thing for them to hear. Reading this book might just provide a bit of realisation for anyone trying to support an anxious child. Just telling them to ‘get on with it’ won’t work. But neither will trying to protect them all the time, whether that’s from things you might think will hurt them or from things you think might trigger their anxiety.
Finally, stating the obvious from a safeguarding perspective: this book is about a child with a reasonably safe and secure life, who is nevertheless worrying a lot. This is a very different scenario to a child that has been exposed to trauma or is living with real dangers. Always worth bearing in mind when thinking about ‘anxious’ children, and particularly when considering using this book. See my disclaimer below.
* All children are different. Something that might be suitable for some, might not be suitable for others. Other people might not rate this book, and other children might not benefit from it. And before sharing anything with actual little people, I’d always recommend checking it out yourself first, to see if it’s a good fit for them.
If you’ve got something we could recommend to other DSL’s then please tell me about it. It could be any sort of suggestion: a book, a film, a website or an activity or resource. Just click the button below or reply to this email.
Until next time, thanks for reading. If you haven’t already, subscribe below, or share with any other DSL’s you know - either way, I really appreciate the support.